Knowing God Personally

Find God - What does it take to know God? This will explain how you can personally begin a relationship with God, right now.

What does it take to begin a relationship with God? Wait for lightning to strike? Devote yourself to unselfish religious deeds? Become a better person so that God will accept you? NONE of these. God has made it very clear in the Bible how we can know Him. This will explain how you can personally begin a relationship with God, right now...

Principle One: God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life. God created you. Not only that, he loves you so much that he wants you to know him now and spend eternity with him. Jesus said, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."1 Jesus came so that each of us could know and understand God in a personal way. Jesus alone can bring meaning and purpose to life. What keeps us from knowing God? ...

Principle Two: All of us sin and our sin has separated us from God. We sense that separation, that distance from God because of our sin. The Bible tells us that "All of us like sheep have gone astray; each of us has turned to his own way."2 Deep down, our attitude may be one of active rebellion or passive indifference toward God and his ways, but it's all evidence of what the Bible calls sin. The result of sin in our lives is death -- spiritual separation from God.3 Although we may try to get close to God through our own effort, we inevitably fail. This diagram shows the great gap that exists between us and God. The arrows illustrate how we might try to reach God through our own efforts. We may try to do good things in life, or earn God's acceptance through a good life or a moral philosophy. But our good efforts are insufficient to cover up our sin. How can we bridge this gulf?...

Principle Three: Jesus Christ is God's only provision for our sin. Through him we can know and experience God's love and plan for our life. We deserve to pay for our own sin. The problem is, the payment is death. So that we would not have to die separated from God, out of his love for us, Jesus Christ died in our place. The Bible states that Jesus is "the image of the invisible God...by him all things were created...."4 Jesus was crucified for blasphemy -- for clearly identifying himself as equal to God -- which he was. On the cross, Jesus took all of our sin on himself and completely, fully paid for it. "For Christ also died for sins...the just for the unjust, so that he might bring us to God."5 "...he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy."6 Because of Jesus' death on the cross, our sin doesn't have to separate us from God any longer. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."7 Jesus not only died for our sin, he rose from the dead.8 When he did, he proved beyond doubt that he can rightfully promise eternal life -- that he is the Son of God and the only means by which we can know God. That is why Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life; no one can come to the Father except through me."9 Instead of trying harder to reach God, he tells us how we can begin a relationship with him right now. Jesus says, "Come to me." "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me... out of his heart will flow rivers of living water."10 It was Jesus' love for us that caused him to endure the cross. And he now invites us to come to him, that we might begin a personal relationship with God. Just knowing what Jesus has done for us and what he is offering us is not enough. To have a relationship with God, we need to welcome him into our life...

Principle Four: We must individually accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. The Bible says, "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God."11 We accept Jesus by faith. The Bible says, "God saved you by his special favour when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it."12 Accepting Jesus means believing that Jesus is the Son of God, who he claimed to be, then inviting him to guide and direct our lives.13 Jesus said, "I came that you might have life, and have it more abundantly."14 And here is Jesus' invitation. He said, "I'm standing at the door and I'm knocking. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in."15 How will you respond to God's invitation? Consider these two circles: Self-Directed Life Self is on the throne Jesus is outside the life Decisions and actions are solely directed by self, often resulting in frustration Christ-Directed Life Jesus is in the life and on the throne Self is yielding to Jesus The person sees Jesus' influence and direction in their life Which circle best represents your life? Which circle would you like to have represent your life? Begin a relationship with Jesus...

You can receive Christ right now. Remember that Jesus says, "I'm standing at the door and I'm knocking. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in."¹⁶ Would you like to respond to his invitation? Here's how.
The precise words you use to commit yourself to God are not important. He knows the intentions of your heart. If you are unsure of what to pray, this might help you put it into words:

"Jesus, I want to know you. I want you to come into my life. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sin so that I could be fully accepted by you. Only you can give me the power to change and become the person you created me to be. Thank you for forgiving me and giving me eternal life with God. I give my life to you. Please do with it as you wish. Amen."

If you sincerely asked Jesus into your life just now, then he has come into your life as he promised. You have begun a personal relationship with God.
What follows is a lifelong journey of change and growth as you get to know God better through Bible reading, prayer and interaction with other Christians.

Jesus and Islam

Here are six questions that followers of Islam, and others, often ask about Jesus...

This will be a very respectful presentation to anyone who wants to know about Jesus. No challenges. And there will be no criticism of any religion, in any way.
Here are six questions answered in this article:

1. Has the Bible been changed from its original?
2. Does God say that one religion will replace another: Judaism, then Christianity, then Islam?
3. Is it not blasphemy to say God has a Son?
4. Did Jesus die on a cross?
5. If Jesus died on a cross, was God dead for 3 days?
6. Why not view Jesus as a prophet?

1. Jesus and Islam: Is the Bible God's Word? Or has it been changed, or corrupted over time?

Just as introduction, here are a few statements found in the Bible: "Until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen will by any means disappear, from the Law until everything has been accomplished."¹
The Word of God will not disappear. Everything in it will be accomplished in its entirety till the very end. Again it states, "Heaven and earth will pass away but my words will never pass away."²
Also, "All scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness."³ All scripture is inspired by God.
And, "the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of our God stands forever."⁴
We need to ask ourselves, "Is God able to protect his word? Is God able to fulfill these statements, that his word will never disappear, never go unfulfilled?"
Is God capable? Yes, of course. This is God's word to all people. Are we accusing God himself by saying that He was not able to protect it from being changed?
Nothing has been changed. That is only a rumor.
The Quran does not say the Bible has been changed. Just the opposite. It honors the Torah and the Bible. It mentions the Torah, and the "Zabur" (the Old Testament and Psalms) and the "Injil" (the New Testament) many times.
When Islam began in the 6th century, 600 years after Jesus Christ, the Bible was accepted as true.
So, you might ask, has the Bible changed since the 6^th century? No. All you have to do is compare today's Bible with a Bible written long ago.
We can find complete Bibles, all the way back to 300 A.D., hundreds of years before the Quran. You can find one in the London Museum, in the Vatican, and many other places. If you compare today's Bible with the Bibles of 300 A.D., the Bible we have today is the same as then.
Did you know that there exists today nearly 25,000 hand-written copies of portions of the New Testament? As historians have compared these manuscripts, they have concluded that the New Testament we have today is at least 99.5% accurate to the original. No change.
(The .5% differences refer to spelling, but no change in meaning.)
Also, you might be familiar with the more recent archeological findings of the Dead Sea Scrolls. These were found in caves of Qumran, just off the northwest corner of the Dead Sea.
Researchers have compared the Bible we have today with what they found, and they remained highly similar, nearly 100% identical.
Don't let anyone tell you that the New Testament or the Bible has been changed from its original writing. That simply is not historically accurate.
The Bible has not been changed.
Ok, but what about having four Gospels? Aren't those different Scriptures, different from each other?
Yes, there are four gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, in the New Testament. These actually help show that the Bible has never been falsified. These are four witnesses, four accounts of Jesus' life, what he said, what he did.
Imagine if one or two, or let's say four people, witnessed a car accident on a corner of a street. And each one was asked to write up their account, their witness of the accident for the court. Do you think that each one would give the exact same description, exactly the same witness, word-for-word? Obviously not. Each one would write from his or her own perspective of what he or she saw. And that's what happened when each of these witnesses wrote their account of Jesus, as eyewitnesses of Jesus.
For centuries judicial systems have involved witnesses. And, on very important matters, it cannot be one person's word against another's. Often, you need more than one witness. Here's a statement in the New Testament, quoting from the Old Testament, "Every matter must be established by the witness of two or three people."⁵
Not only are there four witnesses about Jesus who wrote the gospels, but there are many more witnesses. James, Paul, Jude, Peter, and others wrote the rest of the books in the New Testament.
John said, "[We write] what our eyes have seen, what our hands have touched."⁶ They were eyewitnesses to Jesus. So they wrote what they saw.
What about all the languages that the Bible is written in, all the translations?
The Bible was written in Hebrew and Greek. Any Bible, no matter what year it was printed, is always a translation from the original Hebrew and Greek languages. (Bibles are never translated English to English, for example. They always start with the original text.)
There are some Bibles that are paraphrases, not translations. And they are identified as paraphrases. However, translations, are just that -- translating what the original Hebrew and Greek text states.
The Hebrew and Greek writings of the Bible have been translated into thousands of languages. Why? Because God wants every person in the world to know the good news of salvation.
And the Bible is not difficult to translate. There are portions of the Bible that are poetic (the Proverbs, the Song of Solomon, the Psalms). But the heart of the Bible itself is a very simple language that deals with our daily lives. It is not hard to translate. The fact that the Bible is a straight-forward, simple account is another reason to trust the Bible.
Here's a true story.
"My son called me one day. He was in another country, in the middle of a big highway, in a car accident. His car was hit by another car, and was turned 180 degrees, landing in the middle of the highway, in the wrong direction.
He said, 'Dad, I'm ok. But what do I do now?'
He's in trouble. He needed help. Well, do you think this is the time that I will send him a poetic message? A poem that I have memorized? No.
This is the time to simply say, 'John, here's what you need to do. You're in deep trouble and here is how to get out of it.' And that really is the heart of the Bible. Humanity is in trouble, heading for hell. For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. And we need a simple message of salvation. The Bible tells us how we can be forgiven, how we can be brought into a close relationship with God that begins now and lasts eternally. It is a message that changes our lives.

2. Jesus and Islam: Does God say that one religion will replace another?

Does God intend that we would start with Judaism, then change to Christianity, then change to Islam?
No. God has been consistent. He has never been interested in building a religion.
Beginning with Abraham, God has been clear about revealing himself to us so that we could be in relationship with him. A relationship, not a religion, is God's ultimate purpose in creating us.
Let's look at the beginning, with Adam and Eve. They had direct communication with God, and all of their needs were met.
Then Satan appeared to Adam and Eve as a serpent, and tempted them. Unfortunately they chose to believe Satan and disobey what God told them. As a result, Adam and Eve fell out of relationship with God.
But do you know what God immediately told Satan? God said that a woman's child would be Satan's enemy. God said that Satan would have partial victory, bruising the child's heel. But the child would deal the final blow, crushing Satan's head.
Here it is:
"Then the Lord God said to the serpent, 'Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all animals, domestic and wild. You will crawl on your belly, groveling in the dust as long as you live. And I will cause hostility between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel."⁷
Satan will have a short-lived victory, striking the heel of the woman's offspring.
Throughout all of history, who is the only man born of a woman, and not from a man and a woman? Jesus, the Son of Mary, right?
Satan would strike the heel of this offspring of a woman. But the offspring would strike a blow to Satan's head. And the only way to kill a serpent is to strike its head.
What does this mean? There is only one explanation to it.
Satan dealt a blow to Jesus on the cross, when Jesus' feet and hands were nailed. But Jesus' delivered the crushing blow to Satan. On the cross, Jesus overcame Satan. Jesus paid for the sins of all humankind, offering everyone forgiveness and a way to come back into relationship with God.
The prophet Isaiah wrote about this offspring:
"He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces, he was despised and we esteemed him not.
Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows; yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities, and the punishment that brought us peace was upon him and by his wounds we are healed.
We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way, and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all."⁸
Who is the prophet Isaiah talking about? It's very clear. He is talking about Jesus. And when was this written? More than 600 years before Jesus Christ.
From the beginning, through thousands of years, God always said that Jesus will come and he will die, just like we read from Isaiah. What would you think of God if, at the very last moment, he changed his mind? What if, after thousands of years promising Jesus, God would change his mind and not have Jesus die for us? God does not change his mind.

3. Jesus and Islam: Is it not blasphemy to suggest that God would have a Son?

God is spirit. And Jesus is only God's Son in a spiritual sense, not in a physical way.
If someone says, "You are the Son of the Cedars" it means that person is from Lebanon. Or, if from Egypt, "You are the Son of the Nile." To say that Jesus is the Son of God, means that Jesus is from God. It is like a title. When the angel appeared to Mary, the angel said, "the holy One to be born will be called the Son of God." A title. Christians do not believe that God had any sexual relationship with any woman.
Isaiah said, "For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."⁹
He is God, who became a man, through Mary. He is God and Son at the same time, born of the virgin Mary.
Why do you think God allowed Jesus to be born from a virgin Mary?
To be born of a woman, and not from a man & woman, means he did not take on the sinful nature of Adam and Eve. When Adam and Eve fell into sin, they passed on the sinful nature from one generation to another, through their own children, down to us.
We are all born as sinners. We're all born with a tendency toward doing things our way, instead of God's way. We all sin. That's why the prophet David cried out, "With sin, my mother conceived me." We all were born with sin. We live as sinful people and we all need a redeemer.
But for Jesus to redeem us, he needed to have a different nature. He needed to be from the spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, no sinfulness at all. Isaiah said, "No deceit was found in him." No sin in him.
In Scripture, God took on the form of a burning bush when revealing himself to Moses. He took on the voice of heaven when speaking to Abraham. Who is to say that God is not allowed to take on the form of man in order to reveal himself to us?

4. Jesus and Islam: Did Jesus die on the cross or not?

How did God test Abraham? He asked Abraham to put his son on the altar. As they were going up the mountain, the son asked, "Where is the offering?" Abraham answered, "God will see to it. He will provide the offering." And God did provide a lamb, which Abraham then sacrificed to God.
Look at the consistent message God gives us.
God spares, he saves the son of Abraham with one lamb.
Then in Exodus, we see the importance of a lamb again. In Exodus, God warns his people in Egypt that he is going to strike the Egyptians. If those who believe in God will put the blood of a lamb on their doorpost, God would have the angel of death go past them, saving them from death. A nation of believers were saved by one lamb.
Then we see a lamb again in Leviticus. Every year the priest is told to take one lamb out of the city and sacrifice it for the sins of those people who believe in God. Each year, one people saved again by one lamb.
Then we hear John the Baptist addressing a crowd, saying this about Jesus: "Look! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!"¹⁰ One lamb, who will save the whole world, for all who will believe in him.
What would have happened if Abraham had not listened to the voice of God, or had not believed that God was speaking to him? That's right, his son would have been killed!
What if the people did not believe God and did not put the blood of the lamb on their doorpost?
So now is the question. Some 2,000 years ago, Jesus, the Lamb of God, hung on a cross, and gave his life for you. We are clearly told, "God shows his love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."¹¹
What if you said, "No, they did not crucify him. He was not killed." This Lamb of God was sacrificed to pay for your sins, and the sin of all the world. What if you say that he was not killed, that this Lamb of God did not die for your sin, for your forgiveness?

5. Jesus and Islam: If Jesus died on the cross, and was buried for three days, does this mean that God was dead for three days?

A great question. An illustration will help answer it.
Let's say we have a vase. It has no flowers, no water in it. It is merely full of air. What is the difference between the air outside the vase and the air inside the vase? The air inside the vase has shape, right? It is the same air in composition, but the air inside the vase has shape.
If we take that vase and smash it against the wall, what happens to the air inside of it? Does it die? No, air cannot die. The vase can be in thousands of pieces, but nothing happens to the air, except lose its shape.
When Jesus died on the cross, his body died, but the Spirit of Jesus, the Spirit of God never dies. God took on the form of man, in Jesus. He took on the shape of man, but Jesus was never only man.
On the cross, Jesus paid for our sin and removed the barrier that stood between us and him. Because of his death, we can be at peace with God. Though we were guilty, the justice of God was fully met by Jesus, the Lamb of God who suffered for us. And the love of God was fully expressed in that Jesus willingly laid down his life for us.
You may say, "That's not fair." And you're right. We don't deserve Jesus' dying for us. But this was God's solution for us. Do we tell God how it must be?
Jesus paid our penalty of death, so that we would not need to die for our sins. He wants us to come into relationship with him, to know his love, and to have eternal life.
One more story. A true story, to help you understand what Jesus did for us.
There was a righteous judge who would not take bribes. He was just. Honest. A lady was caught and brought before him. The penalty she might have to pay was a life sentence or a huge sum of money which she did not have.

The judge asked her, "Are you guilty or not?"
And she cried out, "Your honor, I cannot pay the sentence. I cannot pay the money. Please have mercy on me."
The judge said, "I am asking you, 'Are you guilty or not? Do you confess?'"
Finally the young lady said, "Your honor, yes, I am guilty."
He said, "Then you pay the price. Life sentence or the sum of money." And he closed the case.

She starts screaming and wailing, and they dragged her out of the courtroom to prison. The judge took off the robe, and walked out of the court. He then walked to the treasury. And right there at the treasury, he paid all the money he had and paid the ransom for that girl. Why? Because he loved the girl very much. She was his daughter. And he redeemed his daughter himself, with everything he had.
When the judge took off his robe, he became like any other man. And that's exactly what Jesus did. He left heaven, took off the robe of glory, and became like any other man. And he died for us, so our sins would no longer condemn us and keep us eternally separated from God.
All the prophets said that Jesus would come and die for the sins of the world. Jesus is the only hope for mankind to have eternal life.
Back at the beginning with Adam and Eve, God told Satan that an offspring of a woman would crush Satan's head, and mankind would be redeemed. Jesus' death and resurrection overcame the power of Satan. Jesus overcame sin, death, and our separation from God...delivering a crushing blow to Satan.

6. Jesus and Islam: Why not view Jesus as a prophet?

There is only one God. Here is what we know is true of God:
God is eternal - has always existed, exists now, and will always exist.
God is holy - without fault, perfect.
God is truth - his word stands always, unchanging, reliably true.
God is present - everywhere, at all times.
God is powerful - no limit to his power.
God is all-knowing - he has full knowledge of everything, always.
God is creator - nothing exists that is not created by him.
There is only one God. And all of the above is true of him. We know this because Scripture reveals this to be true of God. He has chosen to make himself known to humankind, to reveal this about himself to us.
Scripture also reveals that Jesus possesses these exact same characteristics as God. As does the Spirit of God. For example, let's take eternal.
Scripture says of Jesus, "He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him."¹²
Also, "He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through him and for him."¹³
But, if there is only one God, how could Jesus also be God?
On earth, we live in a three-dimensional world. Each person has height, width and depth. Two people might look something like each other. They might have similar interests, similar occupations. But a person cannot actually be the same as another person. They are distinct individuals.
God, however, lives without the limitations of a three-dimensional universe. He is spirit. And he is infinitely more complex than we are. That is why Jesus the Son can be different from the Father. And, yet the same.
The Bible clearly speaks of: God the Son, God the Father, and God the Holy Spirit. But it also clearly tells us that there is only ONE God. If we were to use math, it would not be, 1+1+1=3. It would be 1x1x1=1. God is one.
When Isaiah stated, "Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel."¹⁴ Immanuel literally means "God with us."
Jesus said that to know him was to know God. To see him was to see God. To believe in him was to believe in God.
To see more about Jesus life and how he proved these statements, please see the article "Beyond Blind Faith."
However, there is something else about God that you should know. He loves you and cares about you.
Jesus tells us, ""As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."¹⁵
Jesus invites us, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."¹⁶
All of the struggles to try to do enough for God...Jesus offers us a new freedom. We experience his love, and we have a new motivation to please God. It is not out of fear, but out of joy in knowing him.
One of Jesus' followers, Paul, experienced this and commented:
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."¹⁷
If you'd like to understand what it is that Jesus is offering you, please see "Beyond Blind Faith."

What does Jesus offer us?

Q: "Why believe in Jesus? What does Jesus offer me?"
our A: Below are some of his statements made while on earth, in their context.
a way out of darkness -- "I have come as light into the world, that everyone who believes in Me may not remain in darkness."¹
satisfaction, an end to our inner thirst -- Jesus therefore said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread out of heaven, but it is My Father who gives you the true bread out of heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down out of heaven, and gives life to the world." They said therefore to Him, "Lord, evermore give us this bread." Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me shall not hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst."²
direction in life -- Again therefore Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world; he who follows Me shall not walk in the darkness, but shall have the light of life."³
payment for our sin -- "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."⁴   He was teaching His disciples and telling them, "The Son of Man is to be delivered into the hands of men, and they will kill Him; and when He has been killed, He will rise three days later." But they did not understand this statement, and they were afraid to ask Him.⁵
abundant life -- Jesus therefore said to them again, "Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep."⁶
forgiveness of sin -- Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven." Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, "Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?" Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, "Why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...' He said to the paralytic, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"⁷
eternal life -- "All that the Father gives Me shall come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that of all that He has given Me I lose nothing, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him, may have eternal life; and I Myself will raise him up on the last day."⁸
For another answer to this question, please see the video: What will I gain for my life right now, if I believe in Jesus?

Struggling Alone with Pornography

A female student talks about her addiction to pornography.

By Jennifer M.
I am 18 years old, with an independent nature and sometimes shy persona. I grew up all my life in the church. When the newly formed contemporary worship team invited me to play the drums, I finally found my place in the church. Life was pretty good, but I felt empty.
Later in high school the emptiness grew and my curiosity grew to find something, anything to satisfy me. First I turned to petty things, like stealing cigarettes from my abusive uncle. But that wasn't strong enough to distract me from life and fill that emptiness. I wouldn't give up that easily. I'm Jennifer, as strong as steel and I will get what I want. As a computer geek, I could access a lot of things that the average person would have no clue about how to do. I found what I wanted, and I got what I wanted. Pornography.
Before you knew it, I was addicted. This disease was not a replacement for sex in my life... in fact, I was a virgin and still am. It was simply something to fill up the emptiness I felt in my life. When I was sad, when I had a bad day, I could simply go into my room, shut the doors, and feel better again. And it was free. It was harmless. No one would know. Every time I turned to the internet, what I lusted after would eventually not be enough. Like drug addicts going after harder and harder drugs, I had to go after harder sources of fulfillment. It never ended until God stepped in.
I don't really know when, or why, or how (besides the much-needed intervention of God), but one day I came to the sudden realization about how screwed up my life was. My father used to smoke, and he quit smoking COLD. No patches, no gradual cut down. That's what I knew I had to do. I discovered that God was the only thing that could heal my emptiness. I deleted EVERYTHING off my computer. All the web pages, all the videos, all the passwords, everything that would lead me back down the path that had labeled me a disgusting person. Harmless curiosity so easily turned to addiction.
Soon after, I went on a Christian retreat. I was excited, but I didn't expect the life changing effect it would have on me. That weekend I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ. This means that I said to God once again: I want to live for you, totally and completely. I want to be a new creation (2Cor. 5:17), transformed by the love you have shown me. I know that I have done many wrong things, and even the righteous things that I do are not worthy of you (Isaiah 64:6). But I also know that God saved us because of His mercy, not because of things we had done (Titus 3:4-5). So from that day on, I make a commitment to God saying that what He thinks would be more important than what the world thinks or I think, and that all that I do will be for His glory, things that He wants me to do.
The love that I experienced at the retreat was the thing that won me over. I knew that God loved me... but this much?! I was surrounded by people I didn't know that were serving me left and right, praying for me, giving me advice, and expressing the love they had for me. But why did they love me, complete strangers? The Bible says that "we love because He first loved us" (I John 4:19). They loved me because they felt God's love for them. And now that I feel God's love for me, I want to share it with the world as well! In addition to the love, I experienced worship music in a way I never have before. I grew closer to old Christian friends and made new ones. After that weekend, Jesus was shining in my face and in my actions. Every day I have found reason to praise God... there was no emptiness left in me. No anger. No loneliness. No sadness. No fear. In Psalms 119:62 it says, "At midnight I rise to give you thanks for your righteous laws."
That's how I feel right now. I feel like rising in the middle of the night, just to praise God and worship Him for the change that He's brought in me and my friends. You can never be too young or too old to change because of God. "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity" (1Tim. 4:12).
Today. Today give yourself up to God -- fully and completely. You have nothing to lose, and eternal life to gain. Paul says, "For the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). Take that offer and run. Run to God because you are His and always will be. When the whole world has turned away from you, He will be there, because He is, was, and is to come. And He loves you.

Sex and the Search for Intimacy

What about your heart? Is there a secret to true love and intimacy? Find out...

By Dick Purnell
Dr. Henry Brandt, in the Collegiate Challenge magazine, said that there is a syndrome, a pattern, when couples come to him. They say, "At first, sex was exciting. Then I started feeling funny about myself, and then I started feeling funny about my partner. We argued and fought and finally we broke up. Now we are enemies."
This syndrome is what I call the morning-after syndrome. We wake up and find that intimacy is not really there. The sexual relationship does not satisfy us anymore, and what we end up with is not what we really wanted in the first place. All you have is two self-centered people seeking self-satisfaction. The elements of genuine love and intimacy cannot be obtained "instantly," and you find yourself in an unbalanced state, searching for harmony.

Intimacy means more than the physical.

Each of us has five significant parts in our lives. We have the physical, the emotional, the mental, the social, and the spiritual. All five of these parts are designed to work together in harmony. In our search for intimacy we want the solution today, or yesterday. One of our problems is that we want "instant" gratification. When the need for intimacy in a relationship is not met, we look for an "instant" solution. Where do we look? Physical, mental, social, emotional or spiritual? It's the physical. It is easier to be physically intimate with someone than to be intimate in any of the other four areas. You can become physically intimate with a person of the opposite sex in an hour, or half-hour -- it just depends upon the urge! But you soon discover that sex may only be a temporary relief for a superficial desire. There is a much deeper need that is still unmet.
What do you do when the thrill wears off and the more you have sex, the less you like it? We rationalize it by saying, "We are in love. No, I mean really in love." But we still find ourselves feeling guilty and unsatisfied. On campuses all across America I see men and women searching for intimacy, going from one relationship to another hoping, "This time will be it. This time I am going to find a relationship that will last."
I believe that what we really want is not sex. What we really want is intimacy.
Today, the word intimacy has taken on sexual connotations. But it is much more than that. It includes all the different dimensions of our lives -- yes, the physical, but also the social, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects as well. Intimacy really means total life sharing. And haven't we all had the desire at one time or another for closeness, for oneness, for sharing our life with someone totally?

What is it about love that scares us?

Marshall Hodge wrote a book called Your Fear of Love. In it he says, "We long for moments of expressions of love, closeness and tenderness, but frequently, at the critical point, we often draw back. We are afraid of closeness. We are afraid of love." Later in the same book Hodge states, "The closer you come to somebody, the greater potential there is for pain." It is the fear of pain that often drives us away from finding true intimacy.
I was giving a series of lectures at a university in southern Illinois. After one of the meetings, a woman came up to me and said, "I have to talk to you about my boyfriend problems." We sat down, and she began telling me her troubles. After a few moments, she made this statement: "I am now taking steps never to get hurt again." I said to her, "In other words, you are taking steps never to love again." She had thought I misunderstood, so she continued. "No, that's not what I am saying. I just don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't want pain in my life." I said, "That's right, you don't want love in your life." You see, there is no such thing as "painless love." The closer we come to somebody, the greater potential there is for pain.
I would estimate that you (and around 100 percent of the population) would say you have been hurt in a relationship before. The question is, how do you handle that hurt? In order to camouflage the pain, a lot of us give people what I call the "double-sign." We say to a person, "Look, I want you to come closer to me. I want to love and be loved . . . but wait a minute, I've been hurt before. No, I don't want to talk about these subjects. I don't want to hear those things." We build walls around our hearts to protect us from anyone on the outside getting in to hurt us. But that same wall which keeps people out, keeps us stuck inside. The result? Loneliness sets in and true intimacy and love become impossible.

What if you experienced love like this?

Love is more than emotions, and it is much more than a good feeling. But our society has taken what God has said about love, sex and intimacy and changed it into simply emotions and feelings. God describes love in great detail in the Bible, especially in the Book of First Corinthians, chapter 13. So that you catch the full weight of God's definition of love, let me present verses four through seven (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) to you this way. How much would it meet your needs if a person loved you as God says we should be loved:

• if this person responded to you with patience, kindness, and was not envious of you?
• if this person was not boastful or prideful?
• how about if this person wasn't rude toward you or self-seeking or easily angered?
• what if this person didn't keep a record of your wrongs?
• how about if they refused to be deceitful, but always were truthful with you?
• what if this person protected you, trusted you, always hoped for your good, and persevered through conflicts with you?

This is how God defines the love He wants us to experience in relationships. You'll notice that this kind of love is "other-person" focused. It is giving, rather than self-seeking. And there's the problem. Who can live up to this?

To love this way, we need to feel loved.

For us to experience this kind of love in relationships we need to first experience God's love for us. You can't consistently demonstrate this kind of love toward someone if you've never experienced being loved in this way. God, who knows you, who knows everything about you, loves you perfectly.
God tells us through the ancient prophet, Jeremiah, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; and I have drawn you unto Myself" (Jeremiah 31:3). So God's love for you is never going to change.
God loved us so much that He allowed for Jesus Christ to be crucified (an ancient form of execution) for our sins so that we might be made clean. We read in the Bible, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). When we turn to God and accept His forgiveness, then we begin to experience His love.
God tells us, "If we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). Not only does God forgive our sins, but He forgets them and cleanses us.

What is it like to be loved like this?

God continues to love us no matter what. Often, relationships end when something in them is altered, such as a damaging accident or the loss of financial position. But God's love is not based on our physical appearance or who or what we are.
As you can see, God's view of love is totally different from what society tells us love is. Can you imagine a relationship with this kind of love? God simply tells us that His forgiveness and love is ours for the asking. It is His gift to us. But if we refuse the gift, we are the ones who cut ourselves off from finding true fulfillment, true intimacy and true purpose in life.
God's love provides the answer. All we have to do is respond in faith and commitment. The Bible says about Jesus: "That as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those that believe on His name" (John 1:12). God sent His only Son, Jesus, to die in our place. But that is not where the story ends. Three days later, Jesus rose from the dead. As God, He is alive today and wants to put His love in your heart. Once you accept Him, you will be amazed at what He can do in your life and in your relationships.
God's word tells us, "He who believes in the Son (Jesus Christ) has eternal life, but he who does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him" (John 3:36). What God wants for us is to have life, not only for today, but for eternity. If we choose to reject Him, then we have chosen sin's consequence which is death and eternal separation from Him.

What is the advantage of knowing God's love?

It is the reception of Jesus Christ, receiving Him into our lives and trusting in Him, that brings our lives into balance. Faith in God unleashes the forgiveness of God. No more hiding, and no more going our own way. He is right there with us. We have peace with Him. After we place our faith and dependence on Him, He takes up residence within our lives and we have intimacy with Him. His forgiveness is there to cleanse us from the deepest sin, the deepest self-centeredness, the deepest problem or struggle we ever had or will have.
Throughout the Bible, God's attitude toward sex is very clear. God has reserved sex for marriage and marriage only. Not because He wants to make us miserable, but because He wants to protect our hearts. He wants to build a security base for us, so that when we enter into a marriage, its intimacy can be based upon the security of God's love and wisdom.
When we entrust ourselves to Jesus Christ, He gives us new love and new power day by day. This is where the intimacy we are looking for is satisfied. God gives us a love that will not quit, and will not stop with the growing years and the changing times. His love can bring two people together, with Him at the center of that union. In a dating relationship, as you grow together, not only spiritually, but socially, mentally and emotionally, you are able to have an honest, caring and intimate relationship which is fulfilling and exciting! And when the relationship comes along which culminates in marriage, the sexual union can only enhance the foundation that has been established.

What does it take to know God's love?

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Prayer is talking with God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. The following is a suggested prayer: "Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of my life and make me the kind of person You want me to be."
Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? If it does, pray this prayer right now. Placing your faith in Christ will result in His coming into your life as He has promised. This will begin a relationship with Him that will grow more intimate as you come to know Him better. And with Him at its center, your life will take on a whole new dimension -- a spiritual one -- bringing more harmony and fulfillment to all of your relationships.
What is love? Knowing and experiencing God's love for you. Then you will be able to love others with God's love, which leads to a deeper level of real intimacy.

Having Romance with Wolves

One guy gives honest relationship advice about sex and dating.

By Anonymous
There's a saying that goes, "The best plan is to profit by the folly of others." That's what this article is about. I want to share with you a few things I've learned -- the hard way -- concerning girls and relationships. Specifically, I've jotted down ten reasons why I'm now waiting until marriage to have sex.

Dating Advice #1:
I now know that sex isn't all it's cracked up to be.

When I was in college, I remember having an experience that I referred to as a "love hangover." After being with a girl, the next morning I always felt an emptiness. That's something you won't see on TV or in the movies, but it happens a lot. There was emptiness, even regret, afterwards.
The "love hangover" was a strange occurrence for me. Mainly because when I was in college, sex was my "god." As a male, it's what I thought about morning, noon and night. So you would imagine that having sex would have been completely fulfilling -- the crowning achievement in the worship of my "god." And yet, there was often a lack of fulfillment afterwards.
Has that been your experience, too? Have you ever had a "love hangover"? If you have, you should stop and consider, "Why is that? Why is it that sex, if it's so important to me, leaves me with an empty feeling?"
I remember being confused by this emptiness. I then concluded: "I just need more [sex], that's all." (We often think this way about stuff we hope will fulfill us, then doesn't. For example, we get the car we've always wanted, but then it's just "okay" after awhile. Instead of realizing that a car can't really satisfy us, we usually make the error of thinking, "Well, I guess that wasn't the right car. A different one will give me lasting fulfillment.")
But the emptiness continued. So, finally, I came to the conclusion that premarital sex wasn't all it's cracked up to be. It gets too much hype. It's not what the movies make it out to be. If it were, it would be completely fulfilling. There wouldn't be any "emptiness."

Dating Advice #2:
I now want to be more honorable toward women.

I've found that girls often don't fully understand what's going on when it comes to sex. That is, their perspective on the whole thing is very different from a guy's. Often a girl will justify sex by saying, "But I love him," even if she doesn't really want to go through with it. Why does that happen? It's been said that, "Girls use sex to get love; guys use love to get sex."
This is how it works: the girl is picturing marrying the guy some day; the guy is picturing everything he wants to do with the girl before he goes back to tell his buddies about it. And while something inside her is telling her it's the right thing to do, something inside the guy is telling him just the opposite, yet he proceeds. Why? For the physical pleasure no doubt, but also, I think, for another reason: it makes him feel like a man. But there is a great irony in that, for what is manly about deceiving a woman?
Something I've discovered is that, when you honor a woman, you are honoring yourself. Why? Because someday you will have regret, and the regret will last much longer than the pleasure. In the movie Rob Roy, the main character says, "Honor is a gift a man gives himself." When you honor a woman by doing what you know to be right in your heart (that is, what's in her best interest), you honor yourself and insure that you will have no long-lasting regrets to live with.

Dating Advice #3:
That's somebody else's wife.

Here's what I mean: most of the girls I've been with are now married to other men. When I put myself in the shoes of those men, I wish that I hadn't done what I've done. In fact, I might even like to punch myself in the nose for it.
And so it goes without saying that when I get married, I'm not going to like the idea that someone else has had his way with my wife. What about you? Do you like the idea of someone else being with your wife? If you have a girlfriend now and feel that way, think of how much stronger that feeling will be with your wife someday.
You can even take it a step further. That girl is someone's daughter. What if she were my daughter? Or what if she were my sister? Would I want some guy like me taking advantage of her? I now see girls from a different perspective. They're someone else's future wife, someone else's daughter, sister, etc.

Dating Advice #4:
Sex has killed my best relationships.

For example, I had a college sweetheart, the girl of my dreams. With her, there was never a dull moment. We totally "clicked." We waited for awhile, then, through my initiation, we started having sex.
Sex soon became the focus of our relationship. I stopped wanting to get to know her on any other level. And so, instead of growing closer together, we actually started drifting apart. That's what I mean by "sex killed my best relationships." People can relate on many different levels -- emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. But when my girlfriend and I started relating mostly physically, it short-circuited the other parts of our relationship. As a result, the relationship as a whole started to go south. We might still be together today if we (I) had waited.
I've seen this happen with countless relationships, not just others of my own, but those of many other people. And I think there's a reason for this, which I'll explain next.

Dating Advice #5:
Sex before marriage ruins the other parts of the relationship.

For me, two things happened once I had sex with a girl. As I look back on it, I can say that they happened literally every time, although I was unaware of these dynamics at the time. The two things were this: 1) I lost respect for the girl (even though I didn't want to); and 2) she began to mistrust me (even though she didn't want to).
I don't know why this happened, I just know that it did. Maybe it's just built into "the system." But one thing's for sure: I'm not alone. I've seen it happen over and over again. I know many people having marital problems because they engaged in premarital sex. They go into the marriage with lack of respect and lack of trust, two absolute necessities for the health of any marriage.
I know a newlywed couple who have sex less than once a month because of this -- he doesn't respect her, she knows it, and she doesn't trust him, so she doesn't want to give herself to him. It's very sad, and more common than you might think. But nobody talks about this kind of thing in public. And the movie and TV portrayals of couples having sex before marriage never present it either. It's like no one wants to acknowledge that it's happening, even though it is.

Dating Advice #6:
Waiting to have sex with my wife will mean better sex in my marriage.

Why? Because we'll go into the marriage with me having more respect for her and her having more trust in me. One thing I've learned: if a girl doesn't trust a guy, she doesn't want to give herself wholly to him. Deep down, she doesn't really enjoy being with him.
This is how it works. Since "girls use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex," a couple will have sex before marriage. The girl does this to hold on to the relationship. The guy does it because he wants it even more than the relationship itself. Then, after the marriage, the woman has what she wants: a commitment from the man. So she doesn't need to use sex to get him anymore. And, because she may be harboring resentment because he had sex with her before they were married, she is now not interested in sex. And the guy -- who doesn't treasure his wife because of the sex before marriage -- still wants sex but not as a total bonding experience with his wife. It's just sex, which she figures out. So, there is a lousy sex life in the marriage.
I'm not making this stuff up. Now that I'm out of college and many people around me are getting married, I'm seeing it happen all the time. The antidote: waiting for marriage to have sex will give the man a greater respect for his wife and the woman a greater respect for her husband. And consequently they'll have better and more frequent sex because they respect each other more and love each other more deeply.

Dating Advice #7:
Not having sex with other women will mean better sex in my marriage.

Sex is a mysterious thing that causes a deep bond between people, even if we call it "casual." The problem is this: the more I bond with other girls, the less I'll be able to bond with my future wife. It's like a piece of scotch tape -- the more you use it on different surfaces, the less it sticks to things. After awhile, it won't stick to anything.
If I bond with other girls before I get married, I won't be able to bond as well with my wife someday. I won't cherish her as much as I could have, and consequently I won't love her as much as I could have. Each day that passes that I've remained faithful to my future wife means that my relationship with her will be better.
It's a funny thing: our culture decries adultery, yet it freely condones premarital sex, even with multiple partners. That's ironic. Because, if you take the element of time out of the equation, premarital sex is adultery. We can imagine how adultery would greatly injure a marriage relationship, maybe premarital sex actually has nearly the same result. It injures the potential bond between a man and a woman.

Dating Advice #8:
I don't have to sleep with a woman to know if we're "sexually compatible."

Sex is meant to complement a relationship, not be the most important aspect of it. That's what I've found out. It's supposed to be the icing on the cake when all the other aspects of your relationship are working well. I've come to understand that the sex will be good if the rest of the relationship is good. That's why I know I don't have to sleep with my wife to find out if we're sexually compatible. If we get along in every other area, the sex will be fine.
Something else needs to be said here. Another thing I think I've "discovered" is this: when you place sex as the determining factor of the relationship, it will probably result in poor sex. Think about it. If you put your sexual relationship under a microscope, always judging it and judging the relationship by it, it's doomed to fail. It's like being in prison. You're locked in to something that is supposed to be freeing, not incapacitating.
But, when you focus on the other parts of the relationship, and the sex isn't the focus, then you're freed up to have a more enjoyable sex life, with no pressure of having to make it always spectacular. (Because it won't be.) And yet, I don't think that as a college-age adult I was capable of not focusing on sex, that is, unless it wasn't present at all. That's why I think it's best to wait altogether.

Dating Advice #9:
I have found something more satisfying than sex.

I know what you're thinking: "Yeh, right." But it's true. And in fact, in a way sex helped me to discover the something that outdoes it. And that something is not really a something, it's a someone. It's God.
Just hear me out on this one, I know it sounds far-fetched, but the whole thing makes sense. God has created us in such a way that we can't be ultimately satisfied by anything except Him. He built that into the human system, and into each one of our individual systems. As one man put it, "Inside every person is a God-shaped vacuum that only God can fill."
That's why we see people change careers, mates, fashions, and more -- because in our search for ultimate fulfillment, we get frustrated with the things (and people) that have not achieved it for us. So we discard them and move on to something (or someone) else, hoping that in them we will find the kind of fulfillment we are all really looking for. But the problem is, we never find it unless we come to God for it, because only He can provide it.
God loves us too much to see us truly satisfied by anything other than Himself. He wants the best for us, and that means Himself. Nothing or no one is more important than God. I know that's true because I found it out for myself. The emptiness I had -- after buying this and buying that, after sexual escapades, after all my efforts to be fulfilled in life -- the emptiness came to an end when I asked God into my life. More specifically, when I asked Jesus Christ into my life. Jesus Christ said, "He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty" (John 6:35). Those words came true in my life. When I entered into a relationship with God, the God-shaped vacuum inside me was finally filled. I didn't feel empty anymore. Consequently, knowing God has given me a deeper satisfaction than sex ever did.

Dating Advice #10:
God has given me the strength to wait.

It's been years since I've had sex. I wish I could say that I totally waited for marriage, but I can't. I do have regrets (and, as I said before, they have lasted much longer than any momentary pleasures). I have regrets about the way I've treated girls. I have concerns about the stability of my future marriage (if and when I get married). But God has helped me to deal with my past acts and with my concerns for the future. He is in the process of changing me, and has changed me a lot already.
Also, God has given me the ability to wait for marriage to have sex again. Sure, it's been a struggle at times, but God has been big enough to get me through it. All things are possible with Him. And each day, week, year that goes by, I know I'll have a better and stronger marriage someday because I've waited. Too, I have a stronger relationship with God, today, as a result of depending on Him in this vital area of my life as a man.

Where to Start

If you want to be successful in relationships someday -- as a husband and a father -- the best place to start is with yourself. The trick is not in finding the right wife, or having the right children. The key is to start with you. And the most important relationship you can have -- one that will make you a better husband and father -- is a relationship with God.
God is the author of sex, love and relationships in general. He created these things for us to enjoy. And we can enjoy them fully if we follow His design for them. I've come to discover that God is not a "moralizer." He doesn't say, "Do this" or "Don't do this" for no reason. When He says, "Don't do this" (for example, wait for marriage to have sex), He's not saying that to show me who's boss, He's saying it because it's in my best interest. He's saying it because He knows how He's built me as a man, what is best for me, and what will bring me the most fulfillment.

Knowing God Personally

The Bible says that Jesus Christ was God who became man -- "The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us." He was "the exact representation of His [God's] being." In short, Jesus Christ revealed exactly what God is like. So how do we begin a relationship with Him?
God has a genuine love for us and wants us to know Him...but there is a problem. Currently, what stands in the way of us connecting with God is our sin (our failure to love God and others perfectly).
So Jesus Christ ("God in the flesh") took all of our sin on His shoulders while He willingly died on a cross. He did this so we could be completely forgiven, completely acceptable to Him. He made the great sacrifice of being beaten, humiliated, whipped and crucified on our behalf. Then, after three days, He rose from the dead. He now asks us to respond to His sacrifice by inviting Him into our lives.
Jesus Christ was the most masculine man who ever lived. People don't often give Him much credit for that, but it's true. So, when you ask Him to come into your life, you are asking the one Person who knows more about being a man than any other man. He will help you to become a real man -- not the Hollywood version -- but someone far more fulfilled in life and far more valuable to the lives of others.
What does that real man look like? He doesn't look like a wolf (someone who looks out only for himself). Instead, he looks more like a shepherd -- someone who looks out for the well-being of others. As you grow in your relationship with Christ, you will discover more and more what it means to be a real man. And Christ will change the way you think about women and consequently the way you treat them.
You can begin a relationship with Christ that lasts forever. "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that those who believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). Belief means trust. When you trust or rely on Christ's sacrifice on your behalf, you can receive eternal life -- a relationship with God that begins now, that you maintain for the rest of your life. If this is now the desire of your heart, the following is a guideline for the kinds of things you might want to say to God in sincerity:
Dear God, I confess that I have sinned against You. Thank You for taking all of my sin upon Yourself on the cross. I want to receive Your forgiveness. I want to enter into a relationship with You. I ask You to come into my life as my Savior and Lord. Please make me into the man You want me to be.
To gain helpful dating advice and to grow in your knowledge of God, read the sections Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in the Bible.

Desiring and finding the ideal of God

Desiring God - the world offers many different versions of God - is the God revealed in the Bible the ideal God?

By EveryStudent.com
Many of us have in mind the "ideal" God. Maybe we think God should be capable, able to relate to us, care about us. The following qualities are pretty much what the Bible tells us about God...

#1: Desiring God - A God Who Is Greater Than We Are

Humanity has made some great strides in recent years. We can live longer than our ancestors, fly faster than the speed of sound, and access the world from a computer keyboard. But while we've progressed in some ways, we seem to be digressing in many others. Every decade, we see rises in violent crime, the divorce rate, and teenage suicide. Thousands of people around the globe contract HIV every day. Hundreds of millions of people experience chronic hunger.
The list could go on. For example, in recent decades we've witnessed a record number of wars worldwide. If humanity is God, it doesn't appear that we're doing a very good job of it. Even with heightened technology, we still have crime, divorce, racial strife, and government-imposed hunger. Therefore, wouldn't it be better to have a God who is greater than humanity, a God who has the ability to take us beyond where we can go on our own?
The God described in the Bible is that God. He claims to be the Creator of the universe -- a transcendent, all-knowing, all-powerful being who has always existed and is the sustainer of all things. He says, "It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it. My own hands stretched out the heavens."¹ "I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me."² "I am...who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty."³

#2: Desiring God - A God Who Can Be Known Personally

It's popular these days to think of God as some kind of force-field that exists in all things. But even if all things exist and are sustained, moment by moment, by God's power, there can be more to God than that. For example, wouldn't it be better to have a God who is more like a parent, sibling, or friend? Someone you could talk to, share your problems with, receive guidance from, experience life with. What's so special about a God that's impersonal, unknowable, distant?
In spite of his grandeur and "otherness," the God of the Bible is knowable and wants to be known. Though God is not visible, we can talk with him, ask him questions and listen to him, and he will give us answers and guidance for life. He often gives those answers and guidance through his Word, the Bible, which many have called God's love letter to us.
A person can have the same kind of relationship with God that he or she has with a close family member. In fact, those that know him, he calls his children, bride, friends. So the God of the Bible is anything but impersonal. He gets angry and sad, shows mercy, kindness and forgiveness, and is a wholly emotional being. He is highly intellectual, having personality and wit. We can know more than just merely facts about him, we can actually know him intimately like a best friend. "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God."⁴

#3: Desiring God - A God Who Can Relate to the Human Experience

Some think of a God as being remote and distant, like he created the universe, then left it alone to operate on its own. Wouldn't it be better to have a God who is involved in the universe, and specifically, in what's happening here on Earth? And what about the unique difficulties, responsibilities and challenges that we face as human beings? Wouldn't it be better to have a God who could understand those things, a God who somehow knows what it's like to endure life in the harsh world he's allowed to exist?
The God of the Bible knows what it means to be one of us. Jesus Christ was not only God's Son, he was God who had taken on a human form and a human nature. "In the beginning was the Word [Jesus], and the Word [Jesus] was with God, and the Word [Jesus] was God. The Word became flesh [human] and made his dwelling among us."⁵
Of God's Son, the Bible says, "The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being."⁶ He is "the image of the invisible God."⁷ He is the "Mighty God, Eternal Father"⁸ who was "made in human likeness"⁹ and "found in appearance as a man."⁹ In him "all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form."¹⁰ And "by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible."¹¹
Jesus said of himself, "Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father."¹² "He who beholds me beholds the One who sent me."¹³ And, "I and the Father are one."¹⁴
Though he was fully God, Jesus was also, somehow, fully man. He hungered, slept, wept, ate. He endured every kind of difficulty we face, and then some. Therefore, the Bible says he is not "unable to sympathize with our weaknesses."¹⁵ He was "tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet was without sin."¹⁵
So the God of the Bible didn't remain aloof from the pain, suffering and evil in our world. He endured life as we must endure it. In fact, he had a very humble time while on this planet. He was born into a poor household, was not physically attractive, encountered prejudice and hatred, was misunderstood even by family and friends, and was wrongfully executed.

#4: Desiring God - A God Who Really Cares About Us

Most of us want to be accepted and loved. We want people to really care about us, and not just with superficial words. We want their care and concern to be proven by their actions. Wouldn't the same be true for God? Meaning, wouldn't it be ideal if God really cared about us and then gave us tangible proof of that love?
The God of the Bible really cares. He has said so in words. In fact, the Bible says that "God is love."¹⁶ But words don't communicate care and concern as much as actions do. That's where the God of the Bible is so unique and awesome. He really showed us how much he cares...
"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."¹⁷ "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."¹⁸
The God of the Bible claims to be a perfect and holy being. "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."¹⁹ As such, he desires relationships that are clean and pure. Therefore, God sent his own Son to make a way for us to become clean before God. Jesus lived a morally perfect life and then was beaten, tortured, and crucified as "payment" for all the wrongful things we've said, done, or thought (called "sins"). In a sense, he died in our place, on our behalf -- "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."²⁰ "We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity [sins] of us all."²¹
God cared for us enough that he sent his Son to die in our place, for our sins. That's how much God wanted to know us. He was willing to do whatever was necessary...dealing with our sin was necessary. Now we can be fully forgiven and begin an unhindered relationship with God.

#5: Desiring God - A God Who Has Things Completely Under Control

All the terrible things in the world prove that a good, all-powerful God doesn't exist, right? Not necessarily. Even a perfect God might allow bad things to happen for a time, as part of some higher plan. God could know exactly what's going on all of the time and only allow so much, all as part of his grand scheme.
The God of the Bible is that God. He claims that nothing on Earth happens without his say-so. He is completely sovereign over all things. "Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it?"²² "I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please."²³ "The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."²⁴ "It is the Lord's purpose that prevails."²⁵
This does not mean, however, that everything that happens is something God likes. For example, Jesus told his disciples how to pray; in that prayer, one of the key statements is: "Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."²⁶ God's moral will is always done in heaven, but not on Earth. While God is sovereign over all things, he doesn't like everything that takes place on Earth. But for some reason, he allows those things to happen (his permissive will), maybe as part of the freedom of choice we have as human beings.
But the God of the Bible does have a plan, and he will not rest "until he fully accomplishes the purposes of his heart."²⁷ What is that plan? God's ultimate goal is to dwell with people in a totally different environment than what we presently experience. Of that next world, this God says, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. I am making everything new!"²⁸

#6: Desiring God - A God Who Gives Meaning and Purpose to Life

If you think about an important task or project you completed, you probably recall the sense of purpose you had when it was all over. Is that what you want your overall life to be like? To amount to something? Could there be a God who created your life with purpose, and can lead you to experience that purpose?
Yes. The God of the Bible can. He promises that he can make our lives meaningful and purposeful. Through a relationship with him, we can "do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."²⁹ We can make a positive difference in the lives of others. We can become part of his master plan.
The God of the Bible also says that, in a moment-by-moment relationship with him, he can direct our steps so that we can do what pleases him, and what's in our own best interest at all times. "In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."³⁰ This is not to say that life becomes perfectly wonderful. There is still illness, problems in life, and personal failures. Life does not become perfect, but it becomes more enriching. The benefits of knowing God, he says, are "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."³¹

#7: Desiring God - A God Who Offers True Fulfillment

Like love and acceptance, most of us want to find fulfillment in life. There seems to be something akin to a thirst within us that yearns to be quenched. But that thirst -- even though we try -- does not get satisfied by things such as money, possessions, romance, or even fun. Therefore, wouldn't it be great if there was a God who satisfies that "thirst," a God whose presence brings a constant level of satisfaction to life?
The God of the Bible offers the most fulfilling life possible. Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."³² He also said, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."³³ So, the God of the Bible promises to quench that inner longing that nothing else seems to satisfy. (And he has probably made us in such a way that that is exactly the case!)

Desiring the Ideal God

According to the Bible, there is only one true God, only one Creator of all things. But that God is an ideal God. We cannot wish another God into existence, but even if we could, why would we want to? The true God is already the best possible God.
This article has just scratched the surface on what the God of the Bible is like. If you have a desire to investigate the matter further, you can read the Bible section called "John." If you are sincere, and if the God of the Bible is real, wouldn't it make sense that he would reveal himself to you? He says, "I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me."³⁴ "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."³⁵

“The true God is already the best possible God.”

Are you wondering how you can know this ideal God? Basically, beginning a relationship with God is a lot like beginning a marriage. There is a decision to willfully enter into this relationship. Similarly, with God, it's a matter of you saying to him, and sincerely meaning, "I do."
Jesus Christ died for our sins, rose from the dead three days later, and is alive and well today. He now offers new life to us if we trust in him for the forgiveness of our sins: "My Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."³⁶
God is no respecter of persons. All people have been created in his image. Thus, his eternal family is described as "a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language."³⁷ And no sin in your life can bar you from beginning a relationship with him. He took care of the sin issue on the cross, where Jesus was crucified. Now it's a matter of you putting your faith in Jesus' death on your behalf, no matter what you've done in the past.
Once you begin a relationship with God, that relationship is meant to last for all eternity. But it is also meant to be a living and vital relationship today, in this life, a relationship that will grow over time. Like any relationship, it will have its ups and downs, its highs and lows, its joys and pains. But you will be in a relationship with the God who created you for just such a purpose (to know him).
Do you feel God tugging at your heart? Jesus said, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him."³⁸ If you would like to invite God into your life right now, here is a suggested prayer to guide you (what's important, though, is not the exact wording but rather the sincerity of your heart):
Dear God, I confess that I am a sinner. Thank you for taking all of my sin upon yourself in the person of Jesus Christ on the cross. I want to receive your forgiveness and enter into a relationship with you. I ask you to come into my life as my Savior and Lord, to be my God from this day forward, and to make me into the person you've intended me to be.
If you'd like to know more about having a relationship with God, see Knowing God Personally. If you've made this decision, we would love to know about it. Please contact us. Also email us if you have any questions about the issues raised in this article, want more information about knowing God, or want to connect with people on your campus.